Laurinda Jones

Laurinda Jones

Welcome to my Blog

Hi, I’m Laurinda Jones, a South African immigrant living on the Gold Coast, Australia.

As someone who experienced trauma back in South Africa, I know just how harsh a teacher it can be. Luckily, as evidenced by my grey hair, I have gained much wisdom as a result (wink). For the past 25 years, I have dedicated much time, sweat and tears to better understand the human psyche, but more importantly, trying to figure out who I am and my place in this world. Even though I achieved outstanding academic success and raised two beautiful children any parent would be proud of, it was only when I discovered the wise healer, the Sage within, that I began to feel whole again.

BUT, it has not always been like this!

Being Broken

Shortly after the birth of my daughter, I hit rock bottom, and I mean ROCK BOTTOM!!!

I was 26 years old at the time and in constant fear. Every day, we were bombarded by horrific stories of adults and children being beaten, mugged, raped, or murdered.

I was just waiting my turn …

My protective, motherly instincts tried to take over, but I felt helpless. Helpless because of the situation in South Africa … and helpless because of my own early childhood trauma of sexual violation.

To clarify, my trauma was not about the violence, murder, child rape and sexual abuse. These were only the events that led to my trauma.

My trauma was caused by what was happening inside of me. By the stories I created in my own mind about these events … about what I made these stories mean about ME.

It was an inner trauma not seen or known by my very loving and protective parents.

To echo the words of trauma expert Dr Gabor Maté:

For many years I suffered in silence and shame about the ugly secret of my sexual violation.

For many years I wondered in silence: “Why Me?”  “What is wrong with me?” “Why am I being punished?” “Why am I so bad?” “Why don’t people like me?”

My body, mind and spirit were beginning to reveal the ugly cracks of trauma that I so desperately tried to hide. It became more evident in how I reacted to triggers in my environment and responded to my husband and children.

Eventually, I could no longer pretend to be this perfect wife and mother who had it all together.

These dark, shameful memories forced their way out, and I fell to pieces like a fragile porcelain doll.

Laurinda Jones - Trauma cracked me open like a broken porcelain doll

HAVING A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN IS NO JOKE!

I had one panic attack after the other and struggled to understand what was happening to me. I felt terribly weak and helpless and did not even have the confidence to care for myself, never mind my children.

I thought I was the worst mother in the world and just wanted to disappear, forever.

Eventually, I begged my husband to take me to see a psychiatrist. In his wisdom, the psychiatrist decided that a week’s rest in hospital with strong medication would be best.

All I can say about that is that it takes a lot of energy to focus on the light in those darkest moments. But the light is there; we just have to look for it.

Road to Recovery

For the first two years after the nervous breakdown, I spent much time exploring “me” and gaining back control.

I also gave up my career as a hairdresser and pursued a career in teaching.

When we moved to Australia in 2002, I enjoyed many fulfilling years working as an early childhood teacher. These were beautiful healing times where I felt safe enough to explore the awe and wonder of our world alongside the children.

They were my best teachers. Patiently showing me how to appreciate the beauty of this world instead of always focusing on the negative. 

The more secure I became in myself, the more I wanted to learn about the human psyche. Over a period of fifteen years, I completed numerous qualifications, including Clinical Hypnotherapy, Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP), Counselling, Art Psychotherapy and Play Therapy.

During this time, I had many different roles working with both adults and children.

~ I supported frustrated parents in understanding their child’s behaviour better.

~ I mentored educators who looked after children in their Family Day Care businesses.

~ I became a lecturer, training adults who had enrolled in nationally recognised early childhood qualifications.

~ I started a Life Coaching business that included hypnotherapy and mindfulness training.

~ I worked as a forest kindergarten teacher and early childhood intervention therapist.

Not too bad for someone who once was so fragmented because of trauma!

Finding my Sage

All along, my inner Sage nudged and guided me to continue growing, learning and exploring.

However, it was only in the last two years, when I was brave and vulnerable enough to explore the neglected, underdeveloped part of my true self, that I finally understood my worth.

Now, instead of seeing myself as someone who is broken and unworthy, I see myself as a creative, caring, sensitive being, DETERMINED to show up as the best version of myself.  Finally, I can leave a legacy for my children and grandchildren that will support them in their future roles as parents.

I often get asked these questions: “How do you always remain so calm?” “How do you know all of this?” “My child does (…). What should I do?”  

Other than drawing on my life experience and training as a teacher, counsellor, hypnotherapist, and creative play therapist, most people don’t know that I’m also interested in spirituality, going on long nature walks, climbing mountains, joining African drumming circles and being creative.

These are the activities that feed my soul and keep me grounded.

My Calling

As I enter the next stage of my life as a trauma-informed play therapist, I see it as my soul’s calling to guide parents and children who have experienced trauma, grief, or loss to discover their worth and feel whole again.

I am also determined to use my passion for nature, spirituality, and creative expression to raise people’s awareness to the wonder of our beautiful world, despite the aftershocks of having experienced trauma.

If you can resonate with any of this and are looking for gentle encouragement to discover your worth as a parent, please reach out or sign up to my blog. It is 100% FREE, and includes many useful strategies to support children and parents who have experienced trauma, grief and loss

If you are ready to book your first session with me, click the button below.

I look forward to connecting with you.
Laurinda Jones

Laurinda Jones, EzineArticles Diamond Author

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